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Tantric Queen

Eine Tantric Queen kennt ihre BOUNDARIES.
Auf jeder Ebene. 
Sie ist in touch mit ihrem "ja" und ihrem "nein" und achtet und respektiert diese.
Vor allem: sie verhält sich dementsprechend. 

Having boundaries doesn't make you a bitch. 
Setting boundaries is the standard that shows other people how you like to be treated. 
Enforcing boundaries is a radical act of self-love. 

But what does that mean?

To me, it means, saying “no” if someone asks me for a favor if I know I am going to resent them later if I say “yes.” Self love is the opposite of self-sacrifice ... it’s knowing and stating my boundaries. Another gem from Brené Brown is her mantra for boundaries.

“Choose discomfort over resentment. Choose discomfort over resentment. Choose discomfort over resentment.”

As a recovering people-pleaser, I know quite well that the path of self love isn’t always easy, but why is that? Why is this so challenging?? Well, one big reason is due to our dominator capitalist colonized culture.

Essentially, you and me were taught to distrust our own bodies, minds and intuition. As a little kid you may have been told, “No, you can’t touch that.” “You MUST eat this.” “That’s enough.” “Be quiet.” “Speak up!” “Sit still.” That’s just in our own homes and schools! I’m not a parent/caregivers and this is NOT about shaming parents/caregivers. Yet, it is important to acknowledge how prevalent punishment and reward systems are embedded in our culture. This is one reason why it may be hard to listen to and trust your own feelings and needs when you are afraid of being punished if you don’t get it “right.”

Beyond this, it’s important to acknowledge ALL systemic oppression that impacts your ability for self love. Due to sexism, racism, classism, ableism, ageism, fat phobia, and all other forms of oppression...it can make it real challenging to see yourself as worthy of love and belonging.

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” - Audre Lorde